While he was planning schemes of greatness and delight, the change of climate affected so unfavorably a constitution exhausted by diseases incident to the Indies, that he was snatched from all his dreams of joy by a short illness, and I was left heir to all his property. And now, sir, behold me, at the age of twenty-five, well stocked with Latin, Greek, and mathematics, and possessed of an ample fortune, but so awkward and unversed in any gentlemanlike accomplishment, that I am pointed at by all who see me, as the wealthy, learned clown. I have lately purchased an estate in the country, which abounds with what is called a fashionable neighborhood; and when you reflect on my parentage and uncouth manners, you will hardly think how much my company is courted by the surrounding families, especially by those who have marriageable daughters. From these gentlemen I have received familiar calls, and the most pressing invitations; and though I wished to accept their offered friendship, I have repeatedly excused myself, under the pretence of not being quite settled; for the truth is, that when I have rode or walked, with full intention to return their several visits, my heart has failed me as I approached their gates, and I have frequently returned homewards, resolving to try again to-morrow. However, I at length determined to conquer my timidity, and three days ago accepted of an invitation to dine this day with one, whose open, easy manner left me no room to doubt a cordial welcome. Sir Thomas Friendly, who lives about two miles distant, is a baronet, with an estate of about two thousand pounds a year, joining to that which I purchased. His family consists of two sons and five daughters, all grown up, and living at home; his sister also resides at the Hall, dependent on him for support. Conscious of my unpolished gait, I have, for some time past, taken private lessons from a professor, who teaches "grown-up gentleman to dance;" and although I at first. found wondrous difficulty in the art he taught, my knowledge of mathematics was of prodigious use in teaching me the equilibrium of my body, and the due adjustment of the centre of gravity to the five positions. Having now acquired the art of walking without tottering, and learned to make a bow, I boldly ventured to accept the baronet's invitation to a family dinner, not doubting that my new acquirements would. enable me to see the ladies with tolerable intrepidity; but, alas! how vain are all the hopes of theory when unsupported by habitual practice! As I approached the house, the sound of a bell made me fear that I had spoiled the dinner by want of punctuality. Impressed with this idea, I blushed the deepest crimson, as my name was repeatedly announced by the several livery! servants, who ushered me into the library, hardly knowing whom or what I saw. At my first entrance, I summoned all my fortitude, and made my new-learned bow to Lady Friendly; but, unfortunately, bringing back my left foot into the third position, I trod upon the gouty toe of poor Sir Thomas, who had followed close at my heels, to be the nomenclator of the family. The confusion this occasioned in me is hardly to be conceived, since none but bashful men can judge of my distress; and of that description, the number is, I believe, very small. The baronet's politeness, by degrees, dissipated my concern, and I was astonished to see how far good-breeding could enable him to suppress his feelings, and to appear with per fect ease after so painful an accident. 49. The Same, continued. THE cheerfulness of her ladyship, and the familiar chat of the young ladies, insensibly led me to throw off my reserve Equilibrium, a state of rest produced by the mutual counteraction of two or more forces; a just poise or balance in respect to an object, so that it remains firm. and sheepishness, till at length I ventured to join in the conversation, and even to start fresh subjects. The library being richly furnished with books in elegant bindings, I conceived Sir Thomas to be a man of literature, and ventured to give my opinion concerning the several editions of the Greek classics, in which the baronet's ideas exactly coincided with my own. To this subject I was led by observing an edition of Xenophon, in sixteen volumes, which, as I had never before heard of such a thing, greatly excited my curiosity; and I rose up to examine what it could be. Sir Thomas saw what I was about, and, as I supposed, willing to save me trouble, rose to take down the book, which made me more eager to prevent him; and, hastily laying my hand on the first volume, I pulled it forcibly; but, lo! instead of books, a board which, by leather and gilding, had been made to look like sixteen volumes, came tumbling down, and unluckily pitched upon a Wedgwood inkstand on the inlaid table. In vain did Sir Thomas assure me there was no harm. I saw that the streaming ink was fast falling on the Turkey carpet, and, scarce knowing what I did, attempted to stop its progress with my cambric handkerchief. In the height of this confusion, we were informed that dinner was served up; and I with joy then understood that the bell which had so alarmed my fears, was only the half-hour dinner bell. In walking through the hall and suite of apartments to the dining-room, I had time to collect my scattered senses, and was desired to take my seat at the table between Lady Friendly and her eldest daughter. Since the fall of the wooden Xenophon, my face had been continually burning like a firebrand; and I was just beginning to recover myself, and to feel comfortably cool, when an unlooked-for accident rekindled all my heat and blushes. Having set my plate of soup too ear the edge of the table, in bowing to Miss Dinah, Inlaid. cabinet or other work diversified by laying in and fastening, with glue or cement, thin pieces of fine wood, ivory, or pearl, on a ground of common wood, or coarse material. who politely complimented the pattern of my waistcoat, I tumbled the whole contents into my lap. An abundant supply of napkins was immediately furnished, and I sat wiping the surface of my clothing amidst the stifled giggling of the ladies and the servants. I will not relate the several blunders which I made during the first course, or the distresses occasioned by my overturning a sauce-boat and knocking down a salt-cellar, in my attempts to carve a fowl, and to help to various dishes that stood near me; rather let me hasten to the second course, where fresh disasters quite overwhelmed me. I had a piece of rich sweet pudding on my fork, when Miss Louisa Friendly begged to trouble me for some of a pigeon that stood near me. In my haste, scarce knowing what I did, I whipped the pudding into my mouth, hot as a burning coal: it was impossible to conceal my agony; my eyes were starting from their sockets. At last, in spite of shame and resolution, I was obliged to drop the cause of my torment on my plate. Sir Thomas and the ladies all compassionated my misfortune, and each advised a different application. One recommended oil, another water, but all agreed that wine was the best for drawing out the heat; and from the sideboard a glass of sherry was brought me which I snatched up with eagerness but, O, how shall I tell the sequel? Either accidentally, or purposely, with a design to drive me mad, the butler, gave me the strongest brandy, with which I filled my mouth, already flayed and blistered. Totally unused to every kind of ardent spirits, with my tongue, throat, and palate as raw as beef, what could I do? I could not swallow; and, clapping my hands upon my mouth, the liquor forced its way through my nose and fingers, like a fountain, over all the dishes, and I was overwhelmed by bursts of laughter from all quarters. In vain did Sir Thomas reprimand the servants, and Lady Friendly chide her daughters; alas! the measure of my shame and their diversion was not yet complete To relieve mo from the intolerable state of perspiration which this accident had caused, I wiped my face, without considering what I did. with that ill-fated handkerchief, which was still wet from the consequences of the fall of Xenophon, and covered all my features with streaks of ink in every direction. The baronet himself could not support this shock, but joined his lady in the general laugh; while I sprung from the table in despair, rushed out of the house, and ran home in an agony of confusion and disgrace, which the most poignant sense of guilt could not have excited. 50. King Richard's Resignation. Scroop. MORE health and happiness betide my liege, Than can my care-tuned tongue deliver him! King Richard. My ear is open, and my heart prepared; The worst is worldly loss thou canst unfold. Say, is my kingdom lost? Why, 'twas my care; And what loss is it to be rid of care? Strives Bolingbroke to be as great as we? Like an unseasonable, stormy day, Which makes the silver rivers drown their shores, As if the world were all dissolved to tears, So high above his limits swells the rage Of Bolingbroke, covering your fearful land With hard, bright steel, and hearts more hard than steel. |