Yankee Humour and Uncle Sam's Fun

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Ward, Lock & Taylor, 1853 - American wit and humor - 111 pages
 

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Page 10 - Draw, rammer ! Those who have no rammers to their guns need not draw, but only make the motion ; it will do just as well, and save a great deal of time. " Return, rammer ! Very well again.
Page 88 - LANG hae thought, my youthfu' friend, A something to have sent you, Tho' it should serve nae ither end Than just a kind memento ; But how the subject theme may gang, Let time and chance determine ; Perhaps, it may turn out a sang, Perhaps, turn out a sermon.
Page 7 - seat,' and ef you won't pray yourselves, let me pray for you!" "Yes!" said Simon, by way of assisting his friend; "it's a game that all can win at! Ante up! ante up, boys — friends I mean — don't back out!" "Thar aint a sinner here," said Bugg, "no matter ef his soul's black as a nigger, but what thar's room for him!
Page 9 - I caution you against, in particular, and that is this: not to make any mistakes if you can possibly help it; and the best way to do this will be to do all the motions right at first; and that will help us to get along so much the faster; and I will try to have it over as soon as possible. Come, boys, come to a shoulder.
Page 78 - Do any thing but love ; or, if thou lovest, And art a Woman, hide thy love from him Whom thou dost worship ; never let him know How dear he is ; flit like a bird before him,—' Lead him from tree to tree, from flower to flower ; But be not won, or thou wilt, like that bird When caught and caged, be left to pine neglected, And perish in f orgetfulness.
Page 7 - ... and it'll be all the same!" This insinuation did the business, and the sensitive individuals reseated themselves. "It's mighty little of this world's goods I've got...
Page 5 - John in a minute, and have him here to listen to this 'sperience, I'll tuck you up when I git home and give you a hundred and fifty lashes, madam! — see ef I don't! Blessed Lord!" — referring again to the Captain's relation — "aint it a precious "scource!" "I was jist a-thinkin' how I should play some trick to turn it all into redecule, when they began to come round me and talk. Long at fust I didn't mind it, but arter a little that brother...
Page 3 - Weft now," said he, as he observed the full-faced brother who was " officiating" among the women, "that ere feller takes my eye! — thar he's been this half-hour, a-figurin amongst them galls, and's never said the fust word to nobody else. Wonder what's the reason these here preachers never hugs up the old, ugly women ? Never seed one do it in my life — the sperrit never moves 'em that way ! It's nater tho...
Page 8 - That's what I call maganimus!" exclaimed the Captain; "that's the way every rich man ought to do!" These examples were followed, more or less closely, by almost all present, for Simon had excited the pride of purse of the congregation, and a very handsome sum was collected in a very short time. The reverend Mr. Bugg, as soon as he observed that our hero had obtained all that was to be had at that time, went to him and inquired what amount had been collected. The Captain replied that it was still...
Page 3 - Good Lord, have mercy!" ejaculated the little man earnestly and unaffectedly, as he strove to crawl from under the sable mass which was crushing him. In another part of the square a dozen old women were singing. They were in a state of absolute ecstasy, as their shrill pipes gave forth, — "I rode on the sky, Quite ondestified I, And the moon it was under my feet." Near these last stood a delicate woman, in that hysterical condition in which the nerves are uncontrollable, and which is vulgarly —...

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