Contemplating Divorce: A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay Or Go

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New Harbinger Publications, 2008 - Family & Relationships - 240 pages

Just as there are right and wrong reasons to marry, there are good and bad reasons to divorce. Some couples are quick to split because they are unwilling to devote the necessary effort to fixing their relationships or to understanding their partners, while others miss out on personal fulfillment by staying too long in unhealthy marriages.

This insightful and practical guide, written by a therapist with nearly a decade of experience counseling those considering divorce, will help you evaluate your marriage to determine whether you should stay or go. Without bias toward or against the option of divorce,Contemplating Divorce includes helpful tools to guide you to the right decision.

  • Use the tests and relationship evaluations to assess your level of fulfillment in your marriage
  • Learn about the five types of needs happy marriages satisfy
  • Find out how to fix 'problem areas' in your relationship
  • Plan for the future, whether you decide to stay or move on

This is a much-needed book. The anxiety in making a life-changing decision is sometimes overwhelming. It is of immense help to have a coach like Susan Pease Gadoua!
-John Bradshaw, best-selling author ofHomecoming andCreating Love

Better than therapy! Pease Gadoua allows the reader who is contemplating any great change to process the pros and cons in the confines of his or her own heart and mind, leaving no chance for those on the fence to skip out on the truth. A must-read for any transition.
-Joan Anderson, bestselling author ofA Year by the Sea, An Unfinished Marriage, A Walk on the Beach, andThe Second Journey

Making an appointment to see a divorce lawyer doesn't mean that the person I am advising necessarily needs or wants a divorce. With Pease Gadoua's wise, thorough, and accessible book,Contemplating Divorce, at last there is a resource I can give to confused and unhappy clients who think the marriage may be over but can't decide whether the embers are truly dead or not.
-Pauline H. Tesler, author ofCollaborative Divorce andCollaborative Law

An exceptional and outstanding book for all those considering making the life-altering decision to divorce. Pease Gadoua offers profound personal insight and practical guidance that empowers adults to find clarity, overcome hurdles, and make the best choices for the future of their relationships. I wholeheartedly recommend Contemplating Divorce to men and women alike.
-Helene Taylor, Esq., president and founder of TheModernWomansDivorceGuide.com

 

Contents

Introduction
1
Beginning the Mental Journey
7
Knowing Your Options
19
Understanding Your Emotions
39
Learning About Your Relationship
75
Knowing What You Need
103
Finding Your Truth
129
Taking Action When Its Needed
167
Understanding the Needs of Others
191
Making Peace with Your Decision
221
Suggested Reading
235
References
239
Copyright

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About the author (2008)

Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, is founder and executive director of the Transition Institute of Marin in the greater San Francisco Bay Area, an agency that provides coaching, therapy, and workshops to people who are at some stage of marital dissolution. She also works with couples and adolescents. Gadoua's first book, Contemplating Divorce, appeared on the San Francisco Chronicle bestseller list.

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